Playdates

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary the meaning of the word playdate or play date is: "an arranged appointment for children to get together for a few hours to play". I dread hearing that word.

Having already raised two children who are now in their 20's, the word was NEVER used when they were growing up and they happen to be successful, happy, well adjusted adults. Parents got together for coffee and conversation and the kids would tag along and play together. Play together..not have a play date. They would be kids and just do what kids do and parents would do what parents do. It was rather simple and no date was implied.

The expectations for a playdate are that everyone is going to share, not argue or fight and be something more than children. For my now five year old son that is not even a remote possibility, as is the case with most of his little friends. The playdate often includes a bit of non-sharing, arguing and fighting and some good old fashioned attitude. The attitude that most young children exhibit isn't included in the definition of playdate and which many parents don't know how to deal with in this new fandangled idea of dating and play.

The hovering parent playdates are the biggest thorn in my side. Like coaches on the sidelines instructing their children from what to do, to what to say and how to say it I can't help but think that these parents don't give their kids much credit. I just want to scream "Oh God, can't we just let them work it out?". My stomach is in knots by the end of the playdate and I'm sure the kids aren't feeling much better about things.

In my little rose coloured glasses world, I just want kids to be kids again. Let them climb a couple of trees, skin their knees, take some hits, get dirty, learn to communicate through play and arguments, and not always have to share everything.

Even though we may feel that the world isn't that safe anymore, we still need to let our kids be kids. We can quietly watch out for their safety and stay out of a lot of their business.

My best memories from my childhood are organizing a pick up game of sports in my backyard, playing flashlight tag at night, building treehouses in the woods without any adult help whatsoever. Those experiences developed crucial life skills, communication skills and self-esteem. Nobody had to tell my friends and I what to do, we did it ourselves. That's empowerment.

Because I would do anything for my children, of course I will continue the playdate dance. We have a scheduled playdate on Monday with a new parent and child. I will prepare mentally and make sure I have lots of coffee on hand. Maybe I'll start a trend with a new word in exchange for the infamous word playdate. I think I will just call it lunch. Ya, let's do lunch.