Thursday, November 8, 2012

WANTING SOMETHING DIFFERENT


Cold air, fresh air

Need some warmth

Warm air, hot air

Need some cold

We all want something different

Wanting, needing, waiting

Human need is change

Keeps us going

forever

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Election 2011

The Canadian Federal Election is May 2, which is drawing near and the discussions about who to vote for, which party should lead us, which direction the country needs to take in these economically challenging times are some of the discussions Canadians are having.

The common thread among the conversations I am hearing is that there doesn't seem to be any one person that Canadians trust and who deserves to lead our country. That's right, DESERVES to lead our country. The leaders' debate was an embarrassing display of blame and fear mongering without a lot of platform discussion. What are the parties offering us?

The four major party contenders are the Conservatives lead by Stephen Harper, the Liberals lead by Michael Ignatieff, the Block Quebecois, lead by Gilles Duceppe and the New Democratic Party, lead by Jack Layton. The present government is a minority, conservative government lead by Stephen Harper. The platforms presented by the parties are simplistic and deal with major issues facing Canadians today, but realistically, will they follow through with their campaign promises? Again, trust is a factor here. The Liberals have Family Pack, a 5 point family plan, the Block Quebecois platform is a little more confusing and deals more with Quebec as far as I can tell (a lot of their website is in French, which I don't speak well) the NDP have the "Practical First Steps" plan, which requires enormous spending to improve several areas of concern, including healthcare and the Conservatives have a "Here for Canada" platform, which promises the same old of the current government in power. Harper seems to take that word power literally. My letter to the current prime minister would read: "Dear Stephen Harper, it's the power of the people who put you there and it's the power of the people that can take you out. You seem to have forgotten the people altogether, so perhaps this is farewell."

I'm frustrated, it's almost election day and I still have not decided who I'm voting for. I strongly dislike the election ads and campaigns that only bash the opposing parties, which all of the parties are using. These politicians underestimate the intelligence of the majority Canadian people and it's insulting to mine to hear these ridiculous, fear based advertisements. On the radio, on television, in the paper. They are everywhere I turn.

A friend of mine who is very well versed in Canadian politics said he would never run for office because of his somewhat "unsavoury" past some twenty five years ago. He would be exactly what we need in politics today. He has passion, he really cares, he's vocal, yet respectful, he would work hard for the people and he is trustworthy. But unfortunately the media and opposing parties would create some kind of scandal around him, just like they would anyone who is your average Canadian.

All I can do is familiarize myself with the platforms of all the major parties, make sure they are feasible without increasing taxes considerably and try to find one party that I can actually pretend to trust. Educating myself will be the easy part. Finding a party I can trust will be a little more difficult, but as my good friend says "just hold your nose and vote". Unfortunately, I may have to close my eyes too.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Glimpses of Nan

My grandmother entered my body this week.

I am wandering around the grocery store parking lot looking for my van and clicking the alarm button on my keys. I must look deranged because when I run into my friend she tells me she was wondering who that crazy woman was before she realized it was me. I explain that we just bought a new van a couple of weeks ago and I don't recognize it yet. It's a grey/green color and blends in quite well with the other vehicles. But "oh", I tell her, "look, I found chocolate covered Peeps and I can't wait to try them". She looks at me vacantly. "You're so cute" she says. We chat a bit more, she walks away and leaves me to continue my search. A few minutes later, I'm inside the van and open a peep. It's soooo good and this little chocolately bit of heaven makes my day.

My mind glimpses an image of my grandmother. Oh no, I just did a Nanny. The fact that I don't remember where I put the van isn't the biggest issue here. It's the big deal I made about the chocolate covered peeps. Nanny was always talking about food. If she went out for lunch, she would explain in detail what she ate, how much was on her plate and how big the piece of pie was for dessert. She would use her hands to show me. If she bought a new candy, she would call me and tell me about it, again in detail. Poor Nan I would think, her life is so slow.

Earlier this week my daughter and I were talking on the phone, as we do every day. I told her I had to cut the conversation short so I could get ready for my doctor's appointment, which was an hour and a half away. She giggled. "You sound like Nanny". My grandmother would make a day out of getting ready for a doctor's appointment or a hundred meter trip to the bank. She would place her purse by the door, do her hair, put on makeup, don her perfume, sit in "her" chair and watch the clock. Sometimes for hours.

My grandmother was one of the biggest influences in my life. We had a close relationship and she taught me more than she will ever know. Did I ever think I would become her? No. Absolutely not. I am more independent, I drive a car for one thing. She never had her license and was the traditional, obeying wife to her husband, which I strive not to be. But she created a life that suited her and she was happy. She played bridge, bingo, did crossword puzzles and had many friends who adored her. She lived to be 93 and only suffered a couple of days before she died. She lived right, for herself.

Perhaps I am identifying with her more these days because I am getting older and the little things are becoming more important. Or maybe I'm just slowly going crazy. Who knows? The fact that glimpses of Nanny are now being seen in me can't be all bad. The woman lived a good life and she was happy. Because she was happy, those around her received the benefits from her being that way.

I am now resigned to the fact that perhaps a new phase of life is upon me and that's okay. So bring on the good life and chocolate covered Peeps!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Playdates

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary the meaning of the word playdate or play date is: "an arranged appointment for children to get together for a few hours to play". I dread hearing that word.

Having already raised two children who are now in their 20's, the word was NEVER used when they were growing up and they happen to be successful, happy, well adjusted adults. Parents got together for coffee and conversation and the kids would tag along and play together. Play together..not have a play date. They would be kids and just do what kids do and parents would do what parents do. It was rather simple and no date was implied.

The expectations for a playdate are that everyone is going to share, not argue or fight and be something more than children. For my now five year old son that is not even a remote possibility, as is the case with most of his little friends. The playdate often includes a bit of non-sharing, arguing and fighting and some good old fashioned attitude. The attitude that most young children exhibit isn't included in the definition of playdate and which many parents don't know how to deal with in this new fandangled idea of dating and play.

The hovering parent playdates are the biggest thorn in my side. Like coaches on the sidelines instructing their children from what to do, to what to say and how to say it I can't help but think that these parents don't give their kids much credit. I just want to scream "Oh God, can't we just let them work it out?". My stomach is in knots by the end of the playdate and I'm sure the kids aren't feeling much better about things.

In my little rose coloured glasses world, I just want kids to be kids again. Let them climb a couple of trees, skin their knees, take some hits, get dirty, learn to communicate through play and arguments, and not always have to share everything.

Even though we may feel that the world isn't that safe anymore, we still need to let our kids be kids. We can quietly watch out for their safety and stay out of a lot of their business.

My best memories from my childhood are organizing a pick up game of sports in my backyard, playing flashlight tag at night, building treehouses in the woods without any adult help whatsoever. Those experiences developed crucial life skills, communication skills and self-esteem. Nobody had to tell my friends and I what to do, we did it ourselves. That's empowerment.

Because I would do anything for my children, of course I will continue the playdate dance. We have a scheduled playdate on Monday with a new parent and child. I will prepare mentally and make sure I have lots of coffee on hand. Maybe I'll start a trend with a new word in exchange for the infamous word playdate. I think I will just call it lunch. Ya, let's do lunch.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Close to JLo

I'm at the grocery store this morning and find myself surrounded by seven women my age (in our 40's) gawking at the gorgeous Jennifer Lopez on the cover of People Magazine as the "World's Most Beautiful Woman"...and we all believe she just may be. We all love her. We aren't jealous or bitchy about her beauty. We actually feel inspired by it. Thank God women can age more than gracefully now...ya, it's okay to be sexy in your forties! Go JLo! A mob mentality transpires. We are on her side! We can BE her.

The sound of a scratching LP screeches in my head and stops me dead. Can BE her? We've gone too far.

In reality, none of us can be Jennifer Lopez. We don't have her perfect complexion, those sparkly white teeth, that raw sexiness that exudes from her every pore, her seat next to that love of my life Steven Tyler, her too-firm body for having twins or her ridiculous amounts of money, but I can feel the mob thinking, maybe, just maybe if we worked a little harder, we could have it all....

After leaving the grocery store I felt a little closer to JLo, if only for a minute. Everybody's got a dream.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Greg Mortenson Debacle ("Three Cups of Tea" author)

The "60 Minutes" segment which aired on Sunday evening regarding Greg Mortenson and the Central Asia Institute has been weighing heavily on my heart and mind. I want to believe that his institute is legitimate and I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, although more investigating needs to be done. Dealing in Pakistan and Afghanistan is very different than building in Canada or USA. Business is often done very differently as well, so checks and receipts will be difficult to track. Greg often talks about the time it takes to get things done, as deadlines often pass, as village elders discuss the details of impending projects. Greg also believes that although the financing is made possible through the CAI, the village is responsible for the project, thus empowering the people.

I have never met Greg or donated to CAI, although I receive newsletters and updates. I have read both "Three Cups of Tea" and "Stones Into Schools" and was excited about the inspirational work being done to educate children and women. I do however find it strange that 18 years after "Three Cups of Tea" was written, that its story would be contested now, after all of that time. Sometimes naysayers have personal agendas of their own. I just don't know and I guess time will tell.

Here is the e-mail sent to me via the CAI on Sunday. This is a direct copy from my e-mail. I'm just passing this on for your information.

Dear Kelly,

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Asalaam-o-Alaikum (Peace Be With You). Greetings from Montana and on behalf of the dear children and communities we serve in rural Afghanistan and Pakistan.


Thank you (Tashakur and Shukuria) for the overwhelming response to the news in recent days, for the outpouring of support, prayers and the confidence that you, our supporters, have showered upon Central Asia Institute, Pennies For Peace and my family. In the midst of these difficult and challenging days, I keep thinking about the Persian proverb, "When it is darkest you can see the stars." You are all shining lights and we are grateful for your compassion.

Although we would like the world to be linear, orderly and peaceful, the reality is that our world is a dynamic, fluid place, often filled with chaos and confusion. In that space, I thrive and get the courage to help bring change and empower people. I also feel great pride that you have chosen to support those who live in the 'Last Best Places', where other organizations or governments offer few or no services.

I welcome and am used to facing criticism, which sometimes even turns into hostility and threats, over the important work we do in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As an introvert and shy person, it is also not easy to have to enter an arena of a media circus at the drop of a heartbeat. But, as those of you who know me and have supported my work over the years will recognize, the story being framed by "60 Minutes" to air in a few hours today - as far as we can tell -- paints a distorted picture using inaccurate information, innuendo and a microscopic focus on one year's (2009) IRS 990 financial, and a few points in the book "Three Cups of Tea" that occurred almost 18 years ago. Apparently, the CBS program is to be followed in the near future by a similar negative piece by Jon Krakauer in an unknown magazine, which I only recently heard about last week.

The Board of Directors and I made the very difficult decision to not engage with "60 Minutes" on camera, after they attempted an eleventh hour aggressive approach to reach me, including an ambush in front of children at a book signing at a community service leadership convention in Atlanta. It was clear that the program's disrespectful approach would not result in a fair, balanced or objective representation of our work, my books or our vital mission. We also turned down a last minute request for an interview with Jon Krakauer.


The "60 Minutes" program may appear to ask simple questions, but the answers are often complex, not easily encapsulated in 10-second sound bites. Working in isolated areas, in communities that are not on any map, and often in areas of turmoil, religious extremism or natural disasters where education is still relatively rare and ancient codes of conduct and social hierarchies still dominate - all these things demand constant adjustment, accommodation and patience.

We have always maintained that our work is about investing in relationships, respecting elders, and listening over a time span that stretches generations, not in one that lasts just a few minutes on prime time television.

So although I did not do an on-camera interview, CAI's Board of Directors and I have duly responded to questions provided us late last week by "60 Minutes" with both statements and answers. And as always we pride ourselves to be transparent with our financials and IRS 990 forms.

All of this can be found on our website, www.ikat.org, and more information will be added in coming days.

Because of a medical condition mentioned below, I have spoken with our hometown newspaper, The Bozeman Daily Chronicle, about this attack, and the newsroom is closely following developments on this story:
Mortenson under fire from '60 Minutes' - Bozeman philanthropist denies allegations (Friday, April 15, 2011)

CAI responds to Mortenson allegations (Sunday, April 17, 2011)

I also recently returned from Afghanistan, and was amazed to see how incredibly well everything is going there, including having five female managers (out of 15 total) and a plan to establish and build over 60 new schools this year. Our Board Chairman, Dr. Abdul Jabbar, also recently returned from an extensive trip to Pakistan. We will combine the news and send you an email and / or printed information within the next month to share the good news.

I would like to take this opportunity to disclose that for the last 18 months, I have been struggling with hypoxia (low oxygen saturation), which made it very difficult to get through a grueling schedule. My physician told me I had to stop and rest, however the urgency of what we do spurred me on. Last Friday (4/15/11), I came home and was diagnosed with a hole in my heart that was shunting blood, causing my low saturations.

Tomorrow, I will have further tests and then a heart surgical procedure this week to fix the hole. After a few weeks my doctor says I will be as good as new. For the first time in eighteen months, I will have tremendous energy, strength and lots of oxygen. At that time, I will come out fighting for what is right and just, and be able to talk to the media. Regardless of what happens, our work must go on. It's most important to know that education is the only thing one can never take away from an individual; it remains forever.

It is a true blessing to be at home now, with family and friends. In the meantime, I send you my heartfelt thanks for your continued support, and if you have any questions or concerns at all, I urge you to contact our office. Our small committed staff will be responding as quickly as they can to answer your calls, e-mails and requests for more information.

Please feel free to pass on this email to your families, friends and colleagues, and if you feel compelled, please write letters to the editor, or your on-line communities, about your thoughts.


You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Greg Mortenson
Bozeman, MT

___________________

New to Blogging

I have to say that I'm a virgin blogger. I'm not sure why I've put it off so long because I can be one opinionated woman with way too much going on in my head.

The world is filled with fascinating and not so fascinating people and social networking brings all points of view forward, so I will be adding my mumbo jumbo for you.

That's all for now...